Dream Jobs

What’s you dream job? Is it the job you currently hold?

My top dream job is mommy, which I have held for the past 15-and-a-half months. It’s the best. And I like being a newspaper columnist (sounds so cool, doesn’t it?). My main (paying) job is compliance analyst in a soon-to-be-three hospital health system. It’s a good job and has potential, but it’s not quite at “dream” status.

My dreamiest job would be architect. Or professional blogger, not unlike Whitney Matheson, whose day job is the Pop Candy blog on the USA Today website. And I could see myself writing children’s books, but, despite having a couple of great ideas, I haven’t seen myself sit down to write them.

–oOo–

Have you heard about the “dream job” that’s been posted on islandreefjob.com by Tourism Queensland in Australia? The job title is "island caretaker," based on Hamilton Island amid the Great Barrier Reef, and it’s a sweet deal.

The primary job duties for the six-month employment contract are exploring the islands of the Great Barrier Reef and reporting on your adventures to the world (via Tourism Queensland in Brisbane) through a photo diary, weekly blogs, media interviews, and video updates, and additional duties include feeding the fish (“There are over 1,500 species of fish living in the Great Barrier Reef. Don’t worry – you won’t need to feed them all.”), cleaning the pool (“The pool has an automatic filter, but if you happen to see a stray leaf floating on the surface it’s a great excuse to dive in and enjoy a few laps.”), and collecting the mail (“During your explorations, why not join the aerial postal service for a day? It’s a great opportunity to get a bird’s eye view of the reef and islands.”).

Benefits include a $105,000 salary, roundtrip airfare, travel insurance, lodging in a three-bedroom beach home, access to a computer, the Internet, cameras, and digital video, along with travel to a number of the other Great Barrier Reef islands.

Successful applicants will possess “excellent communication skills, good written and verbal English skills, an adventurous attitude, willingness to try new things, a passion for the outdoors, good swimming skills and enthusiasm for snorkeling and/or diving, [and] an ability to engage with others.” Oh yeah, and at least one year’s relevant experience is required.

The application process is pretty simple: submit a 60-second video to demonstrate your knowledge of the Great Barrier Reef islands and sell yourself to them, and then complete the online job application and upload your video. Piece of cake!

Application deadline is February 22nd, after which a short list of eleven candidates, ten of whom will be chosen by Tourism Queensland and one by islandreefjob.com visitors, will be invited to interview in person in Queensland in May. The island caretaker’s employment contract will begin July first.

–oOo–

Sounds like a reality show concept, doesn’t it? Actually it’s a tactic to get Australia’s tourism industry through the current global financial woes.

–oOo–

And on a completely different note…

After getting my hair cut one day last week, I walked out of the salon and noticed their sign. You know one of those big yellow signs with the arrow and lights on top that are usually placed in front to businesses in the worst possible spot, because they block your view of oncoming traffic when you’re trying to pull out of the parking lot? Anyway, their sigh usually has some cute play on words regarding hairstyling or pedicures or skin treatments. That day one side read, “What would you name your hair?”

Decisions, decisions…

Resolved

So here I am, almost a year after my mom’s death and even longer since my dad has recognized me, thinking that I should make a commitment to myself. Make resolutions for 2009.

Do you make resolutions? I do not. Not formally. Every New Year’s Eve growing up my mom always wanted each of us to tell the rest of the family what our resolutions were. I always hated that. What if my resolution wasn’t good enough? What if they were dumb? What if I didn’t have any? What if I couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t want to keep them?

I still carry that around with me, and that’s a lot of pressure to pile onto someone who already has a lot of pressure. Yeah, self-imposed pressure, but still. I figure I don’t need more pressure, so normally I just think of a few loose guidelines that I’d like to keep in mind as the year progresses. Or until March.

Little ventured, and very little gained. Much to my mother’s dismay.

–oOo–

Those years that I did make resolutions, they were, more often than not, vague and immeasurable. Like, Be a better person. Good at first glance, but… better than… whom? Me now? Me the year before? Someone else? Huh?

Yikes! See what I mean?

–oOo–

But I want to turn over a proverbial new leaf this year. And how better to do so than to make some resolutions! Right?

Obviously, I need specific, attainable, and, yes, measurable, goals for 2009. Goals that are interesting enough to keep me involved and dedicated.

But what to choose? Resolutions, resolutions, I’m thinking resolutions. Nothing.

Hmmm. Ok. First, why am I doing this? To better myself. To better my opinion of myself. And to honor my mom this year.

Good. And what do I want to accomplish? Tons of stuff, too much to name! No, just focus on a few. Remember, specific goals. Attainable goals. Measurable goals. Oh! Got them!

Now, what do I need to do to be successful? I think I will better hold myself accountable if I share my goals with you.

–oOo–

In 2009, I resolve to: 1.) read the Bible (via a read-the-Bible-in-a-year plan); 2.) visit my father more often than last year (though it absolutely kills me to see him when he doesn’t know who I am, he’s always so happy someone visited); 3.) exercise (Wii Fit, here I come!); 4.) get back to blogging (my blog was primarily for Mom and hasn’t been touched since just before she became ill, but there are others who enjoyed it and want to keep up with my family); and 5.) organize all of the closets in my home (this one is all for me; I am an organizational machine when I want to be and the job needs to be done, so it’s win-win!).

–oOo–

I’ll keep you posted on my progress. And I wonder… What are your resolutions? Do you keep track of your progress with them and celebrate your successes? Or do you make them at the first of the year, and then gradually forget about them?

Things I’ve learned recently

President Bush has quick reflexes!

- Monday’s post-shoe throwing news broadcasts

The star on the state flag of California comes from the lone star of Texas.

- State Flags II Quiz, encarta.msn.com

As of 6:45am Wednesday, Oklahoma City had been below freezing for 66 hours.

- David Payne, KFOR meteorologist

As of Wednesday morning, 37 states had had weather advisories issued this week.

- Al Roker, Today

A child has been saddled with the name Adolph Hitler Campbell, and a bakery refused to put a swastika and “Happy Birthday Adolph Hitler” on the cake for his third birthday. His siblings are named Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell (named for SS head Heinrich Himmler) and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell (whose name the bakery also refused to place on a cake).

- Many, many news broadcasts and postings

Unlike last year, I am not the Person of the Year.

- Time magazine

Mittens will not remain on the hands of a thumb sucker, regardless of the temperature.

- Personal experience

A six-foot-tall inflatable palm tree is not an easy and fun party decoration in 40-mile-an-hour wind.

- Personal experience

My friend Deb can take something I would pass by with an “Eh…” and create something lovely.

- Personal experience

–oOo–

In the early 19th century nog was a strong of beer.

- Holiday Foods: Do You Know What You Are Eating? quiz, encarta.msn.com

Plums are not an ingredient of plum pudding.

- Holiday Foods: Do You Know What You Are Eating? quiz, encarta.msn.com

The story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was created in 1939 as a holiday promotion for Montgomery Ward.

- Merry Mythmas Quiz, encarta.msn.com

President Theodore Roosevelt was a conservationist and did not approve of cutting down trees and didn’t allow Christmas trees in his home, including the White House.

- Merry Mythmas Quiz, encarta.msn.com

From 1659 until 1681 it was against the law to publicly celebrate Christmas in Massachusetts.

- Merry Mythmas Quiz, encarta.msn.com

It is very difficult to decorate a Christmas tree with a 15-month-old in the room, even when there are two adults.

- Personal experience

If Samantha is Christmas shopping in a store that has mirrors on the floor and propped against the wall, she will walk up and kiss the baby. A lot.

- Personal experience

–oOo–

My next column won’t appear until after the 25th, so…

Merry Christmas to you, and may the blessings of this holiday be yours!

Checklists and mittens and cards, oh my!

Christmas is swiftly approaching, and I can hardly catch my breath! My checklist looks like… oh, I don’t know, I guess an unchecked list…

Decorating: incomplete, and so unchecked

Christmas shopping: ditto and unchecked 

Buy Dirty Santa gift: unchecked

Gift-wrapping: unchecked

Take Samantha to have her picture taken with Santa: unchecked

Christmas cards: yeah, right

Mail gifts and cards: are you kidding me?

Third panic attack of the month: right on schedule

–oOo–

I’m making our Christmas cards this year. Yes, in fact, I AM insane.

In my defense, this is something I’ve wanted to do for five or six years, and I feel like if I do it just this once, I’ll be able to get it out of my system.

For the prosecution: (1) I have a 14-month-old baby; (2) I have a way-more-than fulltime job; (3) I don’t seem to possess all of the requisite card-making skills needed; (4) I am wa-a-a-ay too much a perfectionist to make cards. Plus, insanity is not a defense.

So I dreamed up ideas, stalled a couple of times, mocked up a prototype, made purchases from Hobby Lobby, Stampin’ Up and Michael’s, and played with a second prototype. And there I was, working hard on the project over the weekend, when crash! I slammed into a wall, after realizing how true prosecution argument number four is. And now I have all these supplies, which cost at least as much as bought cards. So two days later, I have a brainstorm, and now I’m ready to get back to it and see if my solution works.

I hope things work out, because I don’t think I’ll be able to really focus on the rest of my list until the cards are in the mail.

–oOo–

My daughter is turning into a little person right before my eyes. You know, developing a sense of humor and such. She’s done so many things for the first time lately. Almost every day since Thanksgiving there’s been something new. It’s just a whirlwind. I’m excited to see Christmas through her eyes. I know that she doesn’t understand, but she’s very interested in all of the activity. She’s asleep in every one of last year’s Christmas photos. Looking adorable in her little red dress, but completely sacked out. This year is, of course, a whole other story. It’s such fun!

–oOo–

Do they not make mittens on strings for children anymore? We have found only one pair of (supposedly) 12-24 month mittens for Samantha, and they don’t have anything to help us keep up with them. They’re also too small, and all I can find are mittens for bigger kids. All we need is a pair of light or hot pink mittens that fit and have some sort of mechanism to help us keep up with them, because, basically, if it’s not zipped or velcroed then it’s coming off in the car. And the store. And the parking lot. And the yard. What’s a mommy to do?

–oOo–

Thanks to technical difficulties on this end, my column was not in last Friday’s Index. So this is late but still heartfelt. Cal, Samantha and I spent Thanksgiving and that weekend in Childress. I was very impressed with the Christmas Festival! There were a lot of activities in addition to Treasure Hunt tickets and Santa, and what a great turnout!

I also did some Christmas shopping over that weekend, and let me tell you this: There is great shopping in Childress, people! The gifts I purchased are unique and will be very well received.

Though it may be cliché…

Are you familiar with the name Sarah Josepha Buell Hale? She was an American author, poet and magazine editor who lived from October 24, 1788 until April 30, 1879. She wrote Northwood, the first novel about slavery, and the poem “Mary’s Lamb,” which we know today as “Mary Had a Little Lamb.”

She was also the driving force behind Thanksgiving becoming a national holiday in 1863. Prior to that, a day of thanksgiving was celebrated only in New England, and it took many years for Sarah Hale’s wish for a national holiday to be proclaimed. In fact it took a couple of decades.

Sarah Hale wrote letters to five American presidents in her endeavor. Her letters to Zachary Taylor, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce and James Buchanan were unsuccessful; however, Abraham Lincoln was persuaded and, as a result, supported legislation to establish Thanksgiving Day. Thankfully!

–oOo–

I have a few words of gratitude today. I am thankful to the following for these reasons and so many more…

My boss and co-workers, who could not have been more supportive this year.

Brenda, for her letters and words of encouragement.

Cal, who, pardon the pun, is my rock.

The caregivers for my father, who are angels on Earth.

Chris, for his vision and our (ad)venture.

My sweet Dad, a good man.

Dad’s unawareness of what is happening to him.

Friends who have cried with me.

God, for my many blessings.

Dr. Green and CRMC for providing healthcare to the Blackburns.

My iPhone, with which there is never a dull moment and always an answer to those nagging trivia questions that suddenly arise.

Jackson and Sutton, who, though they aren’t my sons, are my boys.

Kellie, who makes me seem sane in comparison.

The love and tolerance of my family.

The truly inconditional love of my precious Mom, who I miss and need.

Ryan and the rest of the Index staff.

Samantha, my sunshine.

Sharon, to whom I can say anything and never feel stupid.

Tom, godfather extraordinaire, for handling the farm stuff.

And you. Blessings and Happy Thanksgiving to you!

Week long obsession

So, I really checked out Rolling Stone’s “100 Greatest Singers Ever” list, and it’s not what I’d call THE list of the greatest singers ever.

They asked 179 voters to each “list his or her 20 favorite vocalists from the rock era, in order of their importance.” The voters were a diverse cross-section of singers, band members, journalists, recording companies’ founders, and others, as well as an assortment of current and former Rolling Stone editors. They were given ballots, on which they ranked their top 20. Then accounting firm Ernst & Young did their tabulation magic, and the list was created.

–oOo–

Frankly, I’ve been having trouble with this list, and, as a result, with this week’s column, and I’m not really certain why, exactly.

There are several beautiful voices on the list: Etta James’ (number 22 on the list), Elvis Presley’s (3), Luther Vandross’ (54), Freddie Mercury’s (18), and Whitney Houston’s (34), for example. But those voices are lumped in with those of Lou Reed (62), Janis Joplin (28), Björk (60), and Axl Rose (64). To me, that’s a good use for the apples/oranges cliché.

Is that my problem with the list? That it’s not simply a list of singers with beautiful voices?

–oOo–

The voters were to list vocalists from the rock era, but that’s a broad description, as the listing indicates, what with the likes of Hank Williams (27), Stevie Wonder (9), Elton John (38), Bob Marley (19), Johnny Cash (21), Joni Mitchell (42) and Kurt Cobain (45). All rock singers? No. So we have a span of, what six decades, with a variety of genres…

Is that my issue? It’s not a pure rock (or R&B, or pop, etc.) list?

–oOo–

Or maybe it’s this: I don’t see how you can have a list of “great” singers of the rock era without Ann Wilson, of Heart, on it. Or Pat Benatar. Or Christine McVie, of Fleetwood Mac.

Or how any self-respecting list can have John Fogarty (72) above Mary J. Blige (100) or Bob Dylan (7) over Bono (32). And Bob Dylan is number seven? Really?

But they didn’t ask me. Hunh, guess that’s my problem. 

–oOo–

Just a few more of observations… 

These voters were on the list of 100: Eric Burdon (57, The Animals); Solomon Burke (89); Dion (63); Art Garfunkel (86); Merle Haggard (77); Toots Hibbert (71); Etta James (22); B.B. King (96); Darlene Love (84); Patti Smith (83); Ronnie Spector (69, The Ronettes); Bruce Springsteen (36); Mavis Staples (56); Rod Stewart (59); and Brian Wilson (52, The Beach Boys).

Keith Richards (--) ranked himself number 20; James Blunt and Courtney Love (--) both ranked themselves number one; Ozzy Osbourne (--) ranked himself at six, Billy Gibbons (--, ZZ Top) ranked himself number eight; and Maynard James Keenan (--, Tool) ranked himself number one and voted for no one else.

Alice Cooper (--), Merle Haggard, Solomon Burke, Patti Smith, B.B. King, Iggy Pop (75), and David Crosby were on the list, but none of them voted for themselves.

There are a couple of other glaring omissions from the list: Diana Ross and Grace Slick. And k.d. lang (think “Constant Craving”).

–oOo–

This silly list has been my obsession for a week now, and I’ve got to let it go before it takes over my life completely. I’d hate for my daughter to tell people in the future that Mommy had to go live with the other crazy people because Elvis was ranked at only number three!

Asked and Answered

Yes, it’s time to read my email and answer your questions…

Asked: Have you seen Rolling Stone’s list of the 100 greatest singers ever? What do you think? -Kim

Answered: I haven’t seen much of it, Kim, but I heard Ron-the-radio-god and his crew discussing it. They were beside themselves and think Rolling Stone is on crack. I was planning to really check it out and write about it next week.

Asked: When are you coming to Childress? -JL

Answered: I was there a couple of weeks ago, but didn’t really get out and about. We will be celebrating Thanksgiving in Childress, so I’ll be there in a couple of weeks.

Asked: Really cool trivia on the presidents! What did you think about the outcome of the presidential election? -CH

Answered: While I didn’t vote for Barack Obama, I think it is very exciting that an African-American was elected to the presidency. Our country has come a long way sing the murder of Martin Luther King, Jr. 40 years ago. Obama’s candidacy led to many new registered voters, and I hope that now that they have participated in the electoral process that they will continue to do so.

Asked: I thought your columns on citizenship were very interesting, and I learned a lot, like my criminal ex-husband probably couldn’t become an American if he hadn’t been born here. -Me

Asked: Thanks for the information on becoming a citizen. That’s something I’ve never thought about. -JJ

Answered: Thanks, Me and JJ!

Asked: The citizenship test was not easy, and I barely passed! But I’m glad I took it, because I think its information Americans should know! -WH

Answered: I’m glad you took it and looked up the answers, and I agree with you.

Asked: Hey Shawn, I scored 89% on the citizenship test! What two questions did you miss? -Ron

Answered: For the life of me, I can’t seem to keep Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts’ name in my head. Seems like the other was the one (I’m so embarrassed!) on powers of the state.

–oOo–

Feel free to email me with your questions and comments: displaced_texan@rocketmail.net.