Self-fulfilling prophecy

Nebraska lawmakers are in dire need of a clue. And probably a safe haven from angry voters.

Most states have “safe haven” laws, which, according to childwelfare.gov, allow “mothers in crisis to safely relinquish their babies to designated” providers. The babies “are protected and provided with medical care until a permanent home is found.” But before we get to Nebraska, let’s look at the quote in that last sentence, ok? It seems to me that there are three important parties: babies, mothers, and designated providers.

First, newborns are normally the focus of these laws, and as of July 2007, most states’ safe haven laws stated, “infants who are 72 hours old or younger may be relinquished.” Ok, that’s three days. Other states’ safe haven laws allow the baby’s age to be any where from five days to one year.

Next, most states with these laws allow either parent to relinquish a child, though four states have said that only the mother may do so. There are also states, which say that “an agent of the parent” may relinquish, and six states didn’t specify who may relinquish.

Third, what are designated locations? In all states’ laws, hospitals are designated locations, but most states have also so named police stations, fire stations and/or emergency medical services providers.

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Safe haven laws also generally allow the parent to remain anonymous and to be shielded from prosecution for abandonment or neglect in exchange for surrendering the baby to a safe haven.

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So we have a parent who is in crisis and who has a newborn baby. S/he does not have the resources, or is not equipped, to care for a baby. Ok, let’s take that at face value and not judge. They care enough to take the child to a designated provider and not-- and this right here is exactly why safe haven laws are passed: NOT put the baby in a dumpster. The parent is abiding by the law. Remember, we aren’t passing judgment on the parent. We do not know the circumstances, and that’s really not the direction I want to go…

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In a perfect world, everyone who wanted babies would be able to have them, and no one who didn’t want babies would have them. But we do not live in a perfect world, and all in all, I think that safe haven laws are good because of the above baby/dumpster scenario. That happens all too often, and it’s heartbreaking. But again, that’s not where we’re going.

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On July 18, Nebraska’s new safe haven law went into effect. That law goes way beyond babies and allows the abandonment of any child under age 19. And Nebraska’s law allows for anyone, not just a parent, to relinquish a child.

And that is exactly what has happened. Google the key words, and you’ll see: Over the weekend of September 13, two boys, age 15 and 11, were the first to be relinquished. A 13-year-old girl was dropped off at a hospital a week later.

More recently, a man “left all nine of his children” at a hospital on September 24, TheOmahaChannel.com reported. The ages of the children ranged from one to 17. The Lincoln JournalStar has reported on a 12-year-old boy who was walked into a hospital by his grandmother on October 5, and a 14-year-old girl who was relinquished to a provider on October 7.

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Again, I don’t want us to judge the relinquishers, though I do find it hard to wrap my head around the idea of having nine kids (one as recent as a year ago!) without taking steps to prevent it. (Just say no, for crying out loud!)

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As much as this news saddens me, the actions of Nebraska’s legislators absolutely infuriates me. According to msnbc.com, the lawmakers “were afraid this would happen.” Self-fulfilling prophecy, anyone? Yes, they are looking at the law again, but if I lived in Nebraska, I think I would vote against everyone running for re-election who voted to pass this idiotic version of a safe haven law.

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Now, could someone help me down from this soapbox?

Asked and answered

It’s time again to check my inbox and answer some questions from readers…

Asked: What do you do for a living?   -Just curious

Answered: I work for a hospital system, my title is compliance analyst, and I am certified in healthcare compliance. Basically, I deal with all matters of compliance and patient privacy issues in two (soon-to-be three) hospitals. Some of my duties include complaint investigations, medical record audits, diverted drug audits, education, research, and writing policies and many other materials.

Asked: I started watching Bones because of what you wrote about it, but Battlestar Galactica and Arrested Development aren't on anymore.   –SJ

Answered: Arrested Development was canceled before I got into it, so I rented the three seasons. It was well worth it. As for Battlestar Galactica, the last half of the final season will air after the first of the year, so you still have time to rent seasons one through four (I’m sure the first half of season five will re-air before the final episodes start up.) Oh, and don’t forget to start with the miniseries!

Asked: That thing in your millionaires/billionaires column about making “judicious use of debt” is crazy!   -Debbie

Answered: I know! I have absolutely no use for debt, judicious or otherwise.

Asked: What are concierge services?   -Bobcat

Answered: Sorry Bobcat, I should have explained that in that millionaires/billionaires column. Concierge services are provided to people who want things done but are too busy to do them. Concierge service providers are personal assistants/lifestyle managers/gophers who work for a fee to make dinner reservations or locate hard-to-find items or arrange any number of activities.

Asked: I'm going to an OU game with friends.  Where else should I go?   -JB

Answered: Well, I’m all about good food in new places, so… In Norman, try The Mont (but not on game day) or Victoria’s. And The Diner is my choice for breakfast on Saturdays. If you head to OKC (about 15 miles from Norman, I recommend Cattlemen’s. Best. Steak. Ever. And their house salad dressing is beyond words. Eischen’s, in Okarche (63 miles from Norman), is an hour drive, but they have the best fried chicken your momma didn’t make. Seriously. All they serve is chicken (by the bird), fried okra, nachos (with or without chili) and a roast beef sandwich. Back in the City, there are lots of places to eat in Bricktown, which is a fun destination, and Lake Hefner, in northwest OKC, is the site of some great restaurants. And if you’re in the mood for a movie, the Warren Theater, in Moore (seven miles from Norman), has sit-down dining in two of the movie theaters. Email me if you want directions to any of these places, information on museums or anything else!

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Three or four people have asked if I’m going to write about the bailout bill this week. I’m not. With the lag time between the day I write my column and the day it’s published, who knows what will have happened? Maybe when it shakes out a bit more.

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Someone recently sent me an email with the subject reading, “Feng Shui.” It was one of those forward-this-to-at-least-five-people-within-six-minutes-or-bad-things-will-happen messages, which I usually delete without reading, but since the sender was someone special, I read it. The message contained a listing of advice.

• Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
  
• Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. (I would add, and who makes you laugh.)
  
• Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.
  
• Mean it when you say, “I love you.” (I would add, and say it often.)
  
• Look the person in the eye when you say, “I'm sorry.”
  
• Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
  
• Believe in love at first sight.
  
• Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
  
• Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
  
• Fight fairly in disagreements. No name-calling.
  
• Don't judge people by their relatives. (Amen!)
  
• Talk slowly but think quickly.
  
• When someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?” (Much nicer approach than, “Nunya!”)
  
• Remember that great love and great achievement involve great risk.
  
• Say “bless you” when someone sneezes.
  
• When you lose, don't lose the lesson. (Nice!)
  
• Remember these three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. (Again, nice!)
  
• Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
  
• When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  
• Smile when answering the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
  
• Spend some time alone.
  

For what it’s worth, if 15 or more people read this, then my life will improve drastically and everything I’ve ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it

As is my habit, I listen to (as opposed to watch, because, to me, that involves sitting) the “Today Show” in the mornings as I work my magic before leaving the house. One day last week I heard a piece on Hershey’s chocolate, and it was so disturbing that I hit rewind on the DVR and watched it.

There’s a woman in the blogosphere, Cybele May, who, according to her, eats and blogs about chocolate everyday. And she began to notice that her candy didn’t taste like it used to, so she investigated the candy labels.

Sure enough, she found that certain Hershey’s milk chocolate candies have been changed. Hershey’s reportedly has switched to less expensive ingredients to keep their profits the same. As a result, the chocolate in Mr. Goodbars, Milk Duds, and other items now contain vegetable oil instead of cocoa butter. And, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, if milk chocolate doesn’t contain cocoa butter, which makes it creamy and, well, yummy, it’s not milk chocolate.

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So, you caught all the fanfare about this switch Hershey’s has made, right? That “New Coke”-type ad campaign? No? Huh.

Maybe that’s because they just quietly changed the labels from “milk chocolate” to simply “chocolate,” hoping, in my opinion, that no one would notice.

And how did that go over? Well, in the case of Almond Joy, not so well. According to the morning program, Hershey’s received so many complaints about the taste of that candy after cocoa butter was removed, they’ve already put it back in.

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Now, the folks at Hershey’s haven’t completely lost their minds. They’ve left Kisses, Hershey bars, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups alone. I’d like to think that, when it came to these classics, Hershey’s didn’t just try to fix what wasn’t broken, but I can’t. I’m not a chocoholic, but I do like milk chocolate. My Hershey’s choice? Mr. Goodbars. And Mr. Goodbar wasn’t broke and didn’t need to be fixed.

I feel a little cheated.

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Regarding fall, did you know that…

…it was Benjamin Franklin who initially suggested daylight savings time (in 1784)?

…the on the autumnal equinox, which marks the first day of fall, the position of the sun is such that the length of day and night are equal?

…the full moon that occurs closest to the autumnal equinox is the harvest moon?

…and the first full moon following the harvest moon is the hunter’s moon?

…the first jack-o’-lanterns were carved from turnips?

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Ok, I was going to call it a column with the above trivia, but I caught the conniption fit David Letterman threw on his Wednesday show because John McCain canceled his appearance, and is briefly suspending his presidential campaign, to, of all things, tend to his senatorial duties.

And I’ve just got to say that Both McCain and Barack Obama are U.S. Senators. That’s their title. That’s their job, or at least their day job. And that is what their paychecks are for.

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I just think it’s cool that McCain hasn’t forgotten that.

But who’s counting?

Last week an article posted on msn.com caught my attention: SmartMoney’s Daren Fonda divulged “10 secrets that millionaires keep.”

Being of a generous nature, here’s the list and my initial thoughts…

One: While non-millionaires may think that millionaires are rich, millionaires do not. (And one million dollars from 30 years ago is the same as $3.6 million today.) My thought: Does anyone ever feel they have enough money?

Two: Millionaires shop at Wal-Mart. My thought: The millionaires who shop at the Wal-Mart near my house must be seriously disguised.

Three: Yet they still indulge in steamy coffee drinks from Starbucks. (The article quotes that millionaires "make judicious use of debt” by “avoid[ing] high-interest credit card debt and leverage[ing] their home equity to finance purchases if their cash flow doesn't cut it.”) My thought: “Judicious use of debt?” Hunh.

Four: Millionaires utilize concierge services. (That’s how they get Brad Pitt-treatment at high-end businesses.) My thought: But they’re not Brad Pitt.

Five: They aren’t Mr. Nice Guys. My first thought: So? My second thought: So? Reportedly, nice guys finish last.

Six: Millionaires work the federal tax code to their benefit. My thought: Go figure.

Seven: They aren’t rocket scientists. (“The median college grade-point average for millionaires is 2.9.”) My thought: Bet they made 4.0s in partying, though.

Eight: Millionaires don’t buy big-ticket items; they rent them. (“Why blow $250,000 on a Ferrari when for $25,000 it can be yours for a few weekends a year?”) My thought: So you can own a Ferrari?

Nine: Money does, in fact, buy happiness. And health. And respect. ("People experience their day very differently when they have a lot of money," the article quotes.) My first thought: Well, duh. My second thought: Too bad they can’t just earn respect like the rest of us.

Ten: They don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses; their sites are set on the Trumps. ("What makes people happy isn't how much they're making. It's how much they're making relative to their peers.") My thought: I can hardly keep up with myself.

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Millionaires, shmillionaires! Just like how there’s always someone with more money than you, Forbes published its annual list of the 400 richest Americans this week. The, I mean, THE richest? Bill Gates, whose net worth is $57 billion. Warren Buffett is number two with $50 billion, and he is one of five who has been on the list all 27 years it’s been around.

All following figures are billions-with-a-B dollars. In fact, the entry fee, so to speak, to make the 400 is $1.3B. (I know. And I’m sorry you and your $1.2B didn’t make the cut this year. Neither did I.)

When relating the billionaires to the millionaires’ secrets from above, those Waltons, whose pockets are padded by all the millionaires shopping at Wal-Mart, hold places 4 through 7, 118 and 144 on the list. As for keeping up with the Joneses-- well, good luck! Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones ($1.4B) is 355 on the list. But even he isn’t keeping up with the Trumps: Donald Trump is 134th with $3B. And you know some of the 400 own a Ferrari. Or two. Plus a Lamborghini. Or two.

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By my count there are 39 Texas, and six Oklahoma, residents on the list.

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Which reminds me: Just as soon as my daughter’s Social Security card arrives (which will barely take longer than the time I spent applying for it at the SSA office), I’ve got to open a savings account for her!

September times

September brings one of my least favorite times of the year, in Oklahoma, and one of my favorite times of the year, in general…

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University of Oklahoma students are back in class, OU football is underway, and people here don’t know the difference between Texas, the state, and Texas, the university. Maybe it’s because there’s only one big university in Oklahoma, and Okies think that’s the way it is everywhere. (For the record, Oklahoma State University may be a “big” school, but only the most die-hard Cowboy fans don’t recognize that OSU is the redheaded stepchild in Oklahoma.)

When I first moved from Texas, I heard “Texas sucks” all football season long and saw it on t-shirts everywhere I went. I told myself they were referring to UT, not the state, and for a while it worked, but as the second and third football seasons passed, I figured out that I was wrong. People here do not, or cannot, separate the two, and that’s hard on a Texas girl. I’m not a UT fan and don’t care who thinks Texas, the university, sucks, but I am here to tell you-- Texas, the state, does not..

So now the crimson-colored t-shirts are back and as obnoxious as ever, and radio stations are blaring random “Texas sucks” between songs, and I’m back here, in denial, telling myself that it’s just the school they’re referring to because for them, ignorance is bliss. For me, these days, it’s a survival tactic.

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I love the new fall TV schedule that September brings. And this is the time of the year when my mom would always ask what new TV shows I thought she might like and what she should avoid. She didn’t always take my advice, but those were always fun conversations, because I love TV, though my viewing is a fraction of what it was before my daughter was born a year ago.

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My favorite returning show is Bones, a humor-driven procedural that is, at times, flat-out hilarious. My other current favorites include Chuck, Heroes, Brothers & Sisters, House, and Grey’s Anatomy. 

I’m also looking forward to a few new shows, namely My Own Worst Enemy and Life on Mars. I watched the premier of Fringe this week, which will be aired again Sunday night, and I have mixed emotions about it. I think it has the most potential of all of the new shows, because it’s the product of executive producer J.J.Abrams’ mind, and I’m a big fan of his, but it didn’t make me care much about the heroine. FYI, he also created Felicity, Alias, and Lost. (I was a huge Alias fan, and wanted to be Sidney Bristow when I grow up.) Really liked Pacey-- I mean Joshua Jackson’s character though (actually, I liked all of the main male characters), and I’m hoping that we’ll get some creepy X-Files-type episodes. Besides, how many times have you seen a cow pass through the halls of Harvard? My faith in J.J. will keep me tuned in, at least for a while.

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These days, of course, there are also new mid-season and summer TV schedules, but fall is my favorite And though next year the midseason will bring a few more of my faves: BSG; Lost; Friday Night Lights; 24; Rescue Me, and Damages, there’s plenty to watch now, and my DVR will be busy.

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I’ve mentioned before that I love lists. This week ew.com posted their list of the 20 Greatest Sci-Fi TV Shows.

When I saw the title of the list, my first thought was, “Ooh, wonder where Battlestar Galactica, will rank?” It’s one of my all-time favorite shows. Then I wondered if, other than BSG, I would have any interest in the list, because I’ve never really considered myself I “Sci-Fi fan.”

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The ew.com list:

20. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1979-1981)

19. The Six Million Dollar Man (1974-1978)

18. The Jetsons (1962-1963)

17. Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1989-1999)

16. Alien Nation (1989-1990)

15. The Prisoner (1967)

14. Outer Limits (1963-1965)

13. Babylon 5 (1993-1998)

12. V: The Miniseries (1983-1984)

11. Heroes (2006- )

10. Max Headroom (1987-1988)

9. Doctor Who (1963- )

8. Quantum Leap (1989-1993)

7. Firefly (2002)

6. Lost (2004- )

5. Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994)

4. The X-Files (1993-2002)

3. Battlestar Galactica (2003- )

2. Star Trek (1966-1969)

1. Twilight Zone (1959-1964)

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As I first looked over the list, several things came to mind: memories of watching Quantum Leap and Star Trek: The Next Generation occasionally with my mom; and dissecting The X-Files with my dad after most every episode. Firefly is one on the funniest shows ever, and it’s a shame it lasted just one season. I like Heroes, love Lost, and have been thinking about tuning in to the British hit Doctor Who. But mostly, my mind filled with: BSG is number three, and I want to be Starbuck when I grow up!

Hey— what do you know? I am a Sci-Fi fan! I’ve just never categorized the shows I watch by genre.

Thunderstruck

Regardless of your political affiliations, these are exciting times. History will be made on November fourth, when either the first female vice president or the first African American president will be elected. How cool is that?

I know how I will vote and have for a long time, but now that the Final Four are known, my enthusiasm has been bolstered. I think the next two-ish months will be long, what with negative ads, loud-mouthed pundits, mud-slinging and a biased media, but of this I am certain: It will not be dull.

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Are you registered to vote? If not, I urge you to do so. It’s important.

If you are registered to vote, I’d like to convey something to you. If you don’t vote, you really don’t get to gripe about the outcome. Period. Yes, you have freedom of speech, but good luck finding someone to listen. 

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Speaking (or, writing) of… Where the heck is Hillary Clinton these days? It’s as though she’s dropped off the face of the earth.

I’m sure she’s crushed that she’s not one of the Final Four, especially since John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. You just know she thought she would be somewhere on the November ballot (and honestly, I think Barack Obama made a mistake).

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A Clinton-conspiracy theorist friend of mine swears that the senator is in a dark room somewhere under heavy sedation.

As Richard Fish would say, “Bygones!”

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What would you do if your sweet little girl wanted a pair of “High School Musical” panties? Pretty harmless, huh?

What if your precious tween’s HSM undies had writing on them? I’d probably think “tacky,” but some might think that I’m a stick in the mud.

But if the wording on them were “Dive in” -- I would hit the roof!

Yes, Disney pulled their crude HSM “Dive in” panties from store shelves, but what possessed them in the first place? Did Disney have to get rid of their decency to make room for even more piles of cash?

How disgusting.

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So, the Oklahoma City NBA team name was revealed Wednesday: Thunder.

I’m still not crazy about the name, but it is growing on me. I’m not sure why it was chosen, or even in the running, unless it was because of the unbelievable noise the fans made when the New Orleans Hornets relocated to OKC following Hurricane Katrina. The deafening noise made the Ford Center the loudest NBA venue of the season, and it was something to be experienced. Much like thunder, I suppose.

Another reason the team name is growing on me is the manner the name was presented during the press conference: to the tune of the AC/DC song “Thunderstruck.” Perfection. I can just imagine the players’ introductions before the games. I hope they further utilize the song.

Despite my misgivings for the name, I can hardly wait for the first tip-off, and I know that my enthusiasm will continue to grow.

“If integrity were a celebrity…”

Wednesday morning I saw a commercial on Oklahoma City TV for Devon Energy, an independent oil and gas company based in OKC. The ad consisted primarily of footage of well-dressed corporate business-types and the like and their screaming, adoring fans. The voiceover said, “If integrity were a celebrity who would we scream for? Who[se trading cards] would we collect? Who would we idolize? If integrity were a celebrity you’d know our employees by name. Devon Energy”

Classy.

Thursday morning I saw a slightly different version. The second commercial still had the who-would-we-scream-for and who-would-we-idolize images and voiceover. But instead of kids with trading cards, there was footage of an EMT performing CPR chest compressions. The voiceover asked, “Who would we immortalize,” and the camera pulled back to reveal the EMT was actually leaving his hand-over-hand prints in wet cement, ala Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood.

Very classy.

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There is a Live Vote poll on msnbc.com this week: “Should the motto ‘In God We Trust’ be removed from U.S. Currency?” Voting options were: “Yes. It's a violation of the principle of separation of church and state;” or “No, the motto has historical and patriotic significance and does nothing to establish a state religion.” On Wednesday, at the time that five million people had participated in the poll, 70% had clicked no. And roughly 24 hours later, with another 800,000 votes, the no vote was 74%.

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This online poll is in conjunction with a story they ran on California atheist Michael Newdow, who has filed a federal lawsuit against Congress, claiming that “In God We Trust” on U.S. currency unconstitutionally endorses religion.

Does his name seem familiar? He has also filed lawsuits in the past, seeking to remove “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance.

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How fortuitous for Newdow that he is an American. The actions of great men who lived over two centuries ago have had such an immense impact on this one small man. His freedom of speech is protected, as is his freedom of religion... or the lack thereof.

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In June, the Federal Trade Commission filed a federal lawsuit against Atlanta-based credit card company CompuCredit. Among the allegations is that CompuCredit failed to properly disclose information to users of its Aspire Visa card, which is for risky borrowers.

According to the lawsuit, CompuCredit monitored customer spending and cut credit lines if Aspire Visa cards were used at certain places. Though the card company had hyped that cardholders could use the credit cards anywhere, CompuCredit punished its customers for particular kinds of purchases.

So where do CompuCredit customers use their cards that causes the creditor to lower customer credit lines? You know, pool halls, bars, and massage parlors. And shops that retread tires. Oh yeah, and marriage counseling offices.

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On a lighter note, ew.com asked readers “what re-recordings of other people's hits most memorably missed the mark,” and they are showcasing the top 20 vote getters in a piece titled “Maim That Tune!”

Some of those worst offenders, in no particular order (except multiple offenders are grouped together):

Sheryl Crow’s version of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine”

Jessica Simpson’s versions of Berlin’s ''Take My Breath Away'' and Robbie Williams' ''Angels”

Tori Amos’ version of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

MC Hammer’s version of the Chi-Lites’ “Have you Seen Her?”

Britney Spears' version of the Arrows’ “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” (also covered by Joan Jett & the Black Hearts)

Guns N’ Roses’ version of the Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil”

Hilary Duff’s versions of the Go-Gos’ “Our Lips Are Sealed” and the Who’s “My Generation”

The Jonas Brothers’ version of a-ha's “Take on Me”

Fall Out Boy's version of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”

Faith Hill’s version of Erma Franklin’s “Piece of My Heart” (also covered by Janis Joplin)

Anyone on American Idol's cover of Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds”

Two of their choices that I completely disagree with:

No Doubt's version of Talk Talk’s “It’s My Life”

Whitney Houston's version of Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You”

And the rest of those worst offenders:

Michael Bolton’s version of Percy Sledge’s “When a Man Loves a Woman”

Mariah Carey's version of Def Leppard's “Bringin’ on the Heartbreak”

Celine Dion's versions of Roy Orbison’s “I Drove All Night” (also covered by Cyndi Lauper) and Heart’s “Alone”

Madonna's version of Don McLean’s ''American Pie''

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Who would you put on the list? “American Pie” is there, but I would add Alien Ant Farm’s version of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.” And I still can’t stand Everlast’s version of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.”

And who has covered a song as well as, or better than, the original? As I typed that, two songs immediately came to mind: Aerosmith’s version of the Beatles’ “ Come Together” and Jimi Hendrix’s version of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower.”

Think I’ll give that some thought…