“If integrity were a celebrity…”

Wednesday morning I saw a commercial on Oklahoma City TV for Devon Energy, an independent oil and gas company based in OKC. The ad consisted primarily of footage of well-dressed corporate business-types and the like and their screaming, adoring fans. The voiceover said, “If integrity were a celebrity who would we scream for? Who[se trading cards] would we collect? Who would we idolize? If integrity were a celebrity you’d know our employees by name. Devon Energy”

Classy.

Thursday morning I saw a slightly different version. The second commercial still had the who-would-we-scream-for and who-would-we-idolize images and voiceover. But instead of kids with trading cards, there was footage of an EMT performing CPR chest compressions. The voiceover asked, “Who would we immortalize,” and the camera pulled back to reveal the EMT was actually leaving his hand-over-hand prints in wet cement, ala Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood.

Very classy.

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There is a Live Vote poll on msnbc.com this week: “Should the motto ‘In God We Trust’ be removed from U.S. Currency?” Voting options were: “Yes. It's a violation of the principle of separation of church and state;” or “No, the motto has historical and patriotic significance and does nothing to establish a state religion.” On Wednesday, at the time that five million people had participated in the poll, 70% had clicked no. And roughly 24 hours later, with another 800,000 votes, the no vote was 74%.

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This online poll is in conjunction with a story they ran on California atheist Michael Newdow, who has filed a federal lawsuit against Congress, claiming that “In God We Trust” on U.S. currency unconstitutionally endorses religion.

Does his name seem familiar? He has also filed lawsuits in the past, seeking to remove “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance.

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How fortuitous for Newdow that he is an American. The actions of great men who lived over two centuries ago have had such an immense impact on this one small man. His freedom of speech is protected, as is his freedom of religion... or the lack thereof.

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In June, the Federal Trade Commission filed a federal lawsuit against Atlanta-based credit card company CompuCredit. Among the allegations is that CompuCredit failed to properly disclose information to users of its Aspire Visa card, which is for risky borrowers.

According to the lawsuit, CompuCredit monitored customer spending and cut credit lines if Aspire Visa cards were used at certain places. Though the card company had hyped that cardholders could use the credit cards anywhere, CompuCredit punished its customers for particular kinds of purchases.

So where do CompuCredit customers use their cards that causes the creditor to lower customer credit lines? You know, pool halls, bars, and massage parlors. And shops that retread tires. Oh yeah, and marriage counseling offices.

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On a lighter note, ew.com asked readers “what re-recordings of other people's hits most memorably missed the mark,” and they are showcasing the top 20 vote getters in a piece titled “Maim That Tune!”

Some of those worst offenders, in no particular order (except multiple offenders are grouped together):

Sheryl Crow’s version of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine”

Jessica Simpson’s versions of Berlin’s ''Take My Breath Away'' and Robbie Williams' ''Angels”

Tori Amos’ version of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

MC Hammer’s version of the Chi-Lites’ “Have you Seen Her?”

Britney Spears' version of the Arrows’ “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” (also covered by Joan Jett & the Black Hearts)

Guns N’ Roses’ version of the Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil”

Hilary Duff’s versions of the Go-Gos’ “Our Lips Are Sealed” and the Who’s “My Generation”

The Jonas Brothers’ version of a-ha's “Take on Me”

Fall Out Boy's version of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”

Faith Hill’s version of Erma Franklin’s “Piece of My Heart” (also covered by Janis Joplin)

Anyone on American Idol's cover of Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds”

Two of their choices that I completely disagree with:

No Doubt's version of Talk Talk’s “It’s My Life”

Whitney Houston's version of Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You”

And the rest of those worst offenders:

Michael Bolton’s version of Percy Sledge’s “When a Man Loves a Woman”

Mariah Carey's version of Def Leppard's “Bringin’ on the Heartbreak”

Celine Dion's versions of Roy Orbison’s “I Drove All Night” (also covered by Cyndi Lauper) and Heart’s “Alone”

Madonna's version of Don McLean’s ''American Pie''

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Who would you put on the list? “American Pie” is there, but I would add Alien Ant Farm’s version of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.” And I still can’t stand Everlast’s version of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.”

And who has covered a song as well as, or better than, the original? As I typed that, two songs immediately came to mind: Aerosmith’s version of the Beatles’ “ Come Together” and Jimi Hendrix’s version of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower.”

Think I’ll give that some thought…