A big difference

I'd never thought about it before, the differences between a "layoff" and a "reduction in force" (RIF) but have now been educated. No, I didn't lose my job, but, a couple of weeks ago, many people who work for my employer did. (We were warned; the CEO had used the L word in the last quarterly employee meetings. Directors and managers were given instructions to find ways to cut costs and save money, including determining what services could go. And voila, two weeks later 70 people were RIFd.)

So the differences, at least in Oklahoma, are these... When you're laid off, there may be some expectation that, once things pick up again, you could get your job back, and as a result, you cannot collect unemployment. When you're RIFd, you are fully terminated and can accrue unemployment benefits.

Who knew?

--oOo--

I received an email this week that listed some clever church signs. Who knows if they really are church signs, or just stuff emailers made up, or, most likely, a combination of the two. In any case, here they are:

• Try our Sundays-- they're better than Baskin Robbins'

• Life is hard / Afterlife is harder

• Come in and have your faith lifted

• You are not too bad to come in / You are not too good to stay out

• Aspire to inspire before you expire

• Under the same management for over 2000 years

• Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings

--oOo--

Have you checked out the fancy schmancy new Childress Index website yet?

Birds of a feather

This might be a good time to remind you that the opinions in this space are mine and mine alone, because another of President Barack Obama's cabinet nominees has had tax issues revealed. Yes, a fifth nominee of his has had problems filing and/or paying taxes. The fifth one. Five!

Are you kidding me?

Unfortunately, no one is kidding. The president's most recent prized selection is former Dallas mayor Ron Kirk, the pick to be U.S. trade representative. He owes roughly $10,000 in back taxes resulting from speaking fees and entertainment expenses.

And the president's other four nomination jewels? Former Senate majority leader Tom Daschle was nominated to serve as Health and Human Services secretary but withdrew his name because he had neglected to pay over $128,000 in income taxes. And just hours after Daschle bowed out, Nancy Killefer, who was to be the country's first chief performance officer, withdrew her name after it became known that she had neglected to pay District of Columbia payroll taxes for her household staff. And the husband of our new Labor secretary, Hilda Solis, owes thousands of dollars in state and county taxes on his business. (Yes, I realize that Secetary Solis' taxes are not in question, but a certain little concept known as "guilt by association" comes to mind. Plus there's that whole Labor secretary/business taxes link.)

My personal favorite, however, is Timothy Geithner. He failed to pay Medicare and Social Security taxes in the past, and he is now the Treasury secretary. That's right, he is now over the Internal Revenue Service. Huh?

You know, when Daschle and Killefer dropped out, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said something to the effect of, Killefer and Daschle realize that they cannot be in positions of authority and have different standards than those they serve. Ok, but what the heck happened with Solis and, especially, do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do Geithner? Where are their realizations?

--oOo--

Now, by no means do I expect perfection, but what is with nominating people who, at best, seem to be irresponsible and neglectful (and who, at worst, may be engaging in tax evasion), to such high positions? Where is the common sense? Are there no standards?

I used to work for the Texas Comptroller of Public Accounts, and believe me, you don't not pay your state and local taxes, and you sure don't not pay Uncle Sam. And if you ever, e-v-e-r have the slightest notion that you might aspire the heights these people have (and almost have) attained? Well, you lead by example. You file, and pay, your taxes!

All of them!

Life is tough

I am at my wit’s end, and not in a good way. So --right up front-- let me remind you that the opinions in this space are m-i-n-e and not (necessarily) anyone else’s.

I’m finding that my tolerance for certain things is virtually non-existent these days. And the more I hear the more I think my ears are surly bleeding, and the more I read, the more I’d like to sit up in the bed, eating bonbons and watching “The Young and the Restless” through a flattering pair of rose-colored glasses.

I mentioned last week that my employer expects to soon have a reduction in force. No one knows who or when, and what little is known is not conveyed to everyone. The result? Three thousand people who, for the most part, are so scared of looking un-busy that pretty much no one even says hello in the hallways any more!

So that, in a nutshell, is my frame of mind when I tell you that all the crap in the news today is getting me down, and I have very little patience for things like the debacle that is the most recent stimulus package, which is loaded with enough pork to feed the world. (As if!) Things like her unroyal highness Nancy Pelosi supposedly not allowing new bills to be introduced in the House unless they meet her approval. Things like the fiasco that is Major League Baseball, including (and maybe especially my once beloved) A-Rod, who I can only think of as “A-Roid” now. Things like very alarming emails, in all caps, screaming of doom and gloom, when the sender didn’t take two minutes to verify the information on snopes.com. And if I get one more sappy, crappy email telling me to forward it to four/ten/twelve/all of my friends, I’m gonna scream. Loudly. For a very long time.

(Deep breath.)

So, in an effort to not spread my particular brand of poison (any further) today, I am sharing an email that a friend forwarded to me this week. Yes, at first glance it looked like a sappy, crappy one, and it did instruct me to forward it to everyone I know, BUT I trusted the sender, so I read it. And I liked it. So here it is, with only minimal editing, and no additions, by yours truly…

–oOo–

I've learned that…
- the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
- when you're in love, it shows.
- just one person saying “you've made my day” makes my day.
- having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
- being kind is more important than being right.
- you should never say no to a gift from a child.
- I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
- no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
- sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
- life is like a roll of toilet paper: the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
- we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
- money doesn't buy class.
- it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
- under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
- to ignore the facts does not change them.
- when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
- love, not time, heals all wounds.
- the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with smart people.
- everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
- no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
- opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
- when you harbor bitterness, happiness docks elsewhere.
- I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
- a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
- when your newborn child holds your finger in his little fist, you're hooked for life.
- one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
- life is tough, but I'm tougher.

Things I’ve learned lately

Tis the season… Yep, tornado season is upon us, though a little early this year, but that’s not unprecedented. They are scary suckers, especially when you live in Moore, Oklahoma, where two F5s have hit since 1999.

And here’s some other stuff I’ve recently learned…

Our country’s wheeling-and-dealing leaders have negotiated a $789B bargain for us. (Oh wow, they shouldn’t have!)

My employer plans to utilize the L-word. You know, “layoffs.”

Postage is going up two cents in May.

Brett Favre is retiring. Again. (Should’ve stayed that way to begin with, dude.)

The U.S. Mint is changing the look of the penny in an effort to honor Abraham Lincoln in the year of what would have been his 200th birthday. Four new pennies will be released, one per 2009 calendar quarter, and on each of them, the “tails” side will represent a stage of the president’s life, from the Kentucky log cabin where he was born to his presidency. The first penny was released Thursday (USA Today).

Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig is “heartsick” over A-Rod’s admission of steroid use (MSN), and Rodriguez may be suspended for his 2001-2003 use (USA Today). (Really? When the penalty phase was not implemented until 2004? Not cool.)

U2 will be David Letterman’s musical guest the week of March 2-6 to promote their new album, which will be released that week. In fact they will be the musical guest every night that week (The AP)!

The two most annoying characters on TV are leaving “Grey’s Anatomy.” (Yes, Izzie and George are even more annoying than Tommy on “Brothers and Sisters,” and that’s saying a lot!)

Two people have been arrested in South Carolina, each on a charge of possession of marijuana, as authorities build a case against Michael Phelps (The AP, et al).

Pheonix, Ariz. is now the kidnapping capital of the United States (Yahoo). (Yikes!)

Nadya Suleman, mother of 14 children under the age of eight, doesn’t have a clue (personal opinion). Afterall, she doesn’t think food stamps are public assistance (Today Show).

–oOo–

Hope Cupid is nice to you this Valentine’s Day!

Angels among us

Do you have angels in your life? You know, people who touch your life in special ways. I hope you do. Angels are very special, and if you’re lucky, you’re blessed with more than a few throughout your life.

Of course, I’ve been familiar with the concept of angels, particularly spiritual ones, but it’s been within the last couple of years that I’ve recognized my earthly angels for what they are. And as I’ve looked back, I’ve seen that there were always angels in my past.

My angels are special to me. Among them I count the loving people who, years ago, completely cleaned my entire house while I was in the hospital for a few weeks; dear co-workers who donated their vacation days to me last winter so I could be at my ailing mother’s side; and sweethearts who honored me last year on my birthday and at Christmas with Snoopy trinkets and cards, like my parents always did.

Several angels were revealed to me during the process of adopting my daughter Samantha: the entire staff at Deaconess Pregnancy and Adoption Services (DPAS) and the wonderful people who completed referrals for us. I cannot thank these angels enough, and I am so grateful to them

–oOo–

Cal and Samantha and I had dinner with an angel Wednesday evening. Her name is Ashley, and she is beautiful and strong and brave and funny. She is also Samantha’s birthmother.

Now, when Cal and I started the adoption process we were all about a closed adoption, where there is no contact at all with the birthparents. But as we proceeded, we learned that in the current climate, the birthmother’s desires rule. So we opened our minds and turned it over to God, and before we knew it, we were warming up to the idea of an open adoption. 

And now? We wouldn’t have it any other way. Ashley is a tiny, adorable, cutie-pie with sparkly eyes and a great laugh. And she touched our lives in a profound way.

Ashley in a nutshell: She was a cheerleader in high school and is now in college. Ashley is also in the Army Reserves and within a couple of months of completing Boot Camp she found herself in Iraq, driving supply trucks, and “scared to death every day” for a year. She owes one more year of active duty, and is trying to decide whether to volunteer to go back to Iraq before her unit is called back (to get it over) or wait until they’re called (thus putting it off as long as possible). She was the first female member of her hometown’s VFW, and she plans to be a physical therapist.

–oOo–

We like that we have a relationship with Ashley. It’s pretty basic: Cal and I email her periodically, and she and I text each other occasionally, and once in a while, when she shows an interest (because we don’t want to pressure her), we get together with her, take her to dinner.

We hope this relationship continues. That Samantha is adopted will not be a secret from her, and I think that knowing Ashley will help her to be well adjusted. Some people think it’s weird, but I don’t think that it’s anything many people can truly understand without going through it. 

We do not know Sam’s birthfather, but he’s my angel, too. And we’re willing to meet him at any time. He and Ashley are in contact, and he often talks of meeting us, but it goes no further than that. And that’s ok. As with Ashley, we are willing to have whatever relationship he wants.

He and Ashley gave us the greatest gift: our family. They will always be in our thoughts and prayers, as well as in our hearts.

–oOo–

Speaking of angels…

Sunday marks the first anniversary of my mother’s death, and her birthday is Monday. She loved Samantha so very much. About a week after Mom died, Samantha started this thing where occasionally she’d suddenly look past me, over my shoulder and smile and laugh. Then as she grew, she’d wave and babble, too. And now she still does all that, plus speaks her baby language. I wonder if it’s my mom there, Samantha’s angel, checking in on our girl.

I miss her.

A mighty good man

I’ve never written much about my husband in this space, but this week is his week. Cal is a pretty great guy, even if you aren’t married to him. He’s smart, kind, generous, and he can fix anything.

Seriously, anything. He’s a handyman extraordinaire. And he does it all: woodworking, roofing, plumbing, carpentry, electrical work, masonry and more. Plus he can do pretty much anything and everything automotive (he has to have those skills, since he drives a 1966 Mustang and a 1979 Ford F100!).

He likes to put his skills to good use and do things for people. Nothing makes him happier than to help someone with some task or job or project. He’s the kind of guy who will do it for you, or, if you want to learn, he’ll teach you how to fix/make/build/deconstruct/overhaul whatever it is that needs to be done.

–oOo–

With the ice, sleet and snow we experienced this week, the roads were a slick mess. And on the worst mornings this week he drove Samantha and me to daycare and work, respectively. I know, a lot of husbands in a lot of places did that, but not many like Cal. My normal morning route from home to daycare to work takes 45 minutes in optimal conditions. This week Cal drove us on the usual route, from Moore to Norman, and then drove back through Moore to his job in Oklahoma City. And then he made the trip in reverse at the end of each day! He was extremely inconvenienced, and I feel like I can’t thank him enough. For him, it was no big deal, he’s just happy to have done it. And it was his idea! He just wanted his girls to be stress-free and safe.

–oOo–

He’s an awesome dad, and not just because he has changed way more poopy diapers than I. Or because he’s at Samantha’s beck and call. He bought Sam several sets of books, to be enjoyed for years to come, one afternoon on a whim, and he reads with Sam everyday, even though he’s not much of a reader. He sings to her, and he’s never been one to sing loud enough for anyone else to hear. He’ll eat food that he dislikes in order to encourage Samantha to try everything. Cal wants our daughter’s horizons to be broader than his own, and as a result, he’s broadening his.

Up until a year and a half ago, he was pretty much the second least affectionate person I’d ever met, though he always strived to be more so. And since Sam was born, he’s become, well, almost gushy! And he constantly tells Samantha that she’s smart. And silly. And funny. And pretty. And smart.

–oOo–

Cal is also very generous. Very. Generous. He decided to upgrade his cell phone last week for work and had narrowed his choices down to either a BlackBerry or an iPhone. I’ve had an iPhone for a little over a year, and he’s seen how great it is, but the BlackBerry has some features that he liked, too. So we headed to the AT&T store to make his purchase, and he decided on the iPhone. Not an iPhone, the iPhone… that was in my purse. My iPhone. He bought a new 3G for me and took mine for himself!

It just made him happy to make me happy.

–oOo–

So no, I can’t thank Cal enough for his snow taxi this week, but I can sure honor him in this space. What a man!

Hoopla

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but we have a new president.

–oOo–

What a lot of hoopla surrounding President Obama’s inauguration! And not just political hoopla, but entertainment hoopla. Concert-on-HBO hoopla. People-taking-inauguration-day-off hoopla. Aretha-Franklin-hats-selling-like-hotcakes hoopla. “Find inauguration day events in your area” Internet-links hoopla.

Don’t get me wrong. I think it is symbolic that the first African American president was sworn in the day after Martin Luther King’s birthday was observed. And I wish him well. I hope that his promise of change turns out to be what this country needs. But “change” is not necessarily for the better. It’s just different. And there’s been a lot of hoopla, a lot of hype.

It’s a lot to live up to.

–oOo–

No, this is not a political column, but I do tend to comment here on what I observe…

–oOo–

So, what do you know about first ladies? There’s a great quiz on ecarta.msn.com on the women behind the men. That’s where I learned that…

Eliza Johnson taught President Andrew Johnson how to write and some math. He’d been too poor to attend school as a child.

Lucy Hayes was the first first lady to earn a college degree. The Wesleyan Female College alumna was 18 when she was graduated.

Caroline Harrison was instrumental in establishing the National Society of the Daughters of the American Revolution. She also served as that organization’s first president general.

Eleanor Roosevelt was the first white resident of Washington, D.C. to join the NAACP.

Lou Henry Hoover was the first woman to graduate from Stanford University in geology.

Martha Washington claimed that she often felt like a “state prisoner” in the presidential residence.

The National Law Journal named Hillary Clinton one of the most influential lawyers in the U.S. on two different occasions.

Grace Coolidge taught at a school for the deaf.

Jacqueline Kennedy was a photojournalist for the Washington Times-Herald prior to marrying.