Did they forget about… ?

So I get in the car Wednesday morning, baby strapped into her car seat and Diet Coke in the cup holder, and I tune the radio from satellite radio to OKC’s 96.9 Bob FM, where Ron-the-radio-god mixes it up with two other personalities. They are discussing the top ten worst songs as according to Spinner.com and AOL Radio. The actual list is 111 songs, but there’s no listing: the whole thing is for a new AOL Radio station, which is counting down the entire list. But I have a life (and ears!) and cannot listen to/tolerate the whole ordeal.

Their top 20 songs (and for the record, this list is much a re-numbering of Blender.com’s worst songs list) are:

20. “The Final Countdown” –Europe

19. “What’s Up” –4 Non Blondes

18. Getting’ Jiggy Wit It” –Will Smith

17. “Achy Breaky Heart” –Billy Ray Cyrus

16. “Thong Song” –Sisqo

15. “Hollaback Girl” –Gwen Stefani

14. “Rico Suave” –Gerardo

13. “Convoy” –C.W.McCall

12. “With Arms Open Wide” –Creed

11. “Wannabe” –Spice Girls

10. “My Heart Will Go On: -Celine Dion

9. “Macarena” –Los Del Rio

8. “Ebony and Ivory” –Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder

7. “I’m Too Sexy” –Right Said Fred

6. “I Am Woman” –Helen Reddy

5. “U Can’t Touch This” –MC Hammer

4. “Barbie Girl” –Aqua

3. “She Bangs” –Ricky Martin

2. “Ice, Ice Baby” –Vanilla Ice

1. “Who Let the Dogs Out” –Baha Men

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Really? Number one isn’t Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” or “Muskrat Love” by The Captain and Tennille? Where is “Disco Duck” by Rick Dees? “MmmBop” by Hanson? “Kokomo” by The Beach Boys? Where is “Rapture” by Blondie, Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” and “Into the Night” by Santana? (Points for Chad Kroger’s vocals, but not even he couldn’t save that song.)

There’s only one Celine Dion song on the list? I would add all of her other songs plus all of the songs by Michael Bolton, Mariah Carey and Elvis Costello. Did they forget about what is arguably the worst cover song ever: “American Pie” by Madonna? And don’t get me started on Everlast’s “Folsom Prison Blues.” That heinous electronic neigh (is that what it is?) effect makes my ears bleed!

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Don’t get me wrong: I really can’t argue with most of the songs on the list; I just think some of the ones I listed are equally bad or worse than their worst. My one exception is number 15. I like Gwen Stefani, and though this is not her best song, it’s not her worst, either.

And number 20? Anytime I hear that song I automatically think of Gob Bluth and his magic act!

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Have you seen Paris Hilton’s new (key word) viral video? Cute idea, and she’s kind of adorable in it, in a vapid, I-have-way-more-money-than-sense way.

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These words are on the sign outside of my church this week: “Happiness is an inside job.”

I couldn’t agree more.