Thunderstruck

Regardless of your political affiliations, these are exciting times. History will be made on November fourth, when either the first female vice president or the first African American president will be elected. How cool is that?

I know how I will vote and have for a long time, but now that the Final Four are known, my enthusiasm has been bolstered. I think the next two-ish months will be long, what with negative ads, loud-mouthed pundits, mud-slinging and a biased media, but of this I am certain: It will not be dull.

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Are you registered to vote? If not, I urge you to do so. It’s important.

If you are registered to vote, I’d like to convey something to you. If you don’t vote, you really don’t get to gripe about the outcome. Period. Yes, you have freedom of speech, but good luck finding someone to listen. 

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Speaking (or, writing) of… Where the heck is Hillary Clinton these days? It’s as though she’s dropped off the face of the earth.

I’m sure she’s crushed that she’s not one of the Final Four, especially since John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. You just know she thought she would be somewhere on the November ballot (and honestly, I think Barack Obama made a mistake).

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A Clinton-conspiracy theorist friend of mine swears that the senator is in a dark room somewhere under heavy sedation.

As Richard Fish would say, “Bygones!”

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What would you do if your sweet little girl wanted a pair of “High School Musical” panties? Pretty harmless, huh?

What if your precious tween’s HSM undies had writing on them? I’d probably think “tacky,” but some might think that I’m a stick in the mud.

But if the wording on them were “Dive in” -- I would hit the roof!

Yes, Disney pulled their crude HSM “Dive in” panties from store shelves, but what possessed them in the first place? Did Disney have to get rid of their decency to make room for even more piles of cash?

How disgusting.

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So, the Oklahoma City NBA team name was revealed Wednesday: Thunder.

I’m still not crazy about the name, but it is growing on me. I’m not sure why it was chosen, or even in the running, unless it was because of the unbelievable noise the fans made when the New Orleans Hornets relocated to OKC following Hurricane Katrina. The deafening noise made the Ford Center the loudest NBA venue of the season, and it was something to be experienced. Much like thunder, I suppose.

Another reason the team name is growing on me is the manner the name was presented during the press conference: to the tune of the AC/DC song “Thunderstruck.” Perfection. I can just imagine the players’ introductions before the games. I hope they further utilize the song.

Despite my misgivings for the name, I can hardly wait for the first tip-off, and I know that my enthusiasm will continue to grow.

“If integrity were a celebrity…”

Wednesday morning I saw a commercial on Oklahoma City TV for Devon Energy, an independent oil and gas company based in OKC. The ad consisted primarily of footage of well-dressed corporate business-types and the like and their screaming, adoring fans. The voiceover said, “If integrity were a celebrity who would we scream for? Who[se trading cards] would we collect? Who would we idolize? If integrity were a celebrity you’d know our employees by name. Devon Energy”

Classy.

Thursday morning I saw a slightly different version. The second commercial still had the who-would-we-scream-for and who-would-we-idolize images and voiceover. But instead of kids with trading cards, there was footage of an EMT performing CPR chest compressions. The voiceover asked, “Who would we immortalize,” and the camera pulled back to reveal the EMT was actually leaving his hand-over-hand prints in wet cement, ala Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood.

Very classy.

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There is a Live Vote poll on msnbc.com this week: “Should the motto ‘In God We Trust’ be removed from U.S. Currency?” Voting options were: “Yes. It's a violation of the principle of separation of church and state;” or “No, the motto has historical and patriotic significance and does nothing to establish a state religion.” On Wednesday, at the time that five million people had participated in the poll, 70% had clicked no. And roughly 24 hours later, with another 800,000 votes, the no vote was 74%.

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This online poll is in conjunction with a story they ran on California atheist Michael Newdow, who has filed a federal lawsuit against Congress, claiming that “In God We Trust” on U.S. currency unconstitutionally endorses religion.

Does his name seem familiar? He has also filed lawsuits in the past, seeking to remove “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance.

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How fortuitous for Newdow that he is an American. The actions of great men who lived over two centuries ago have had such an immense impact on this one small man. His freedom of speech is protected, as is his freedom of religion... or the lack thereof.

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In June, the Federal Trade Commission filed a federal lawsuit against Atlanta-based credit card company CompuCredit. Among the allegations is that CompuCredit failed to properly disclose information to users of its Aspire Visa card, which is for risky borrowers.

According to the lawsuit, CompuCredit monitored customer spending and cut credit lines if Aspire Visa cards were used at certain places. Though the card company had hyped that cardholders could use the credit cards anywhere, CompuCredit punished its customers for particular kinds of purchases.

So where do CompuCredit customers use their cards that causes the creditor to lower customer credit lines? You know, pool halls, bars, and massage parlors. And shops that retread tires. Oh yeah, and marriage counseling offices.

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On a lighter note, ew.com asked readers “what re-recordings of other people's hits most memorably missed the mark,” and they are showcasing the top 20 vote getters in a piece titled “Maim That Tune!”

Some of those worst offenders, in no particular order (except multiple offenders are grouped together):

Sheryl Crow’s version of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child O’ Mine”

Jessica Simpson’s versions of Berlin’s ''Take My Breath Away'' and Robbie Williams' ''Angels”

Tori Amos’ version of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”

MC Hammer’s version of the Chi-Lites’ “Have you Seen Her?”

Britney Spears' version of the Arrows’ “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” (also covered by Joan Jett & the Black Hearts)

Guns N’ Roses’ version of the Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil”

Hilary Duff’s versions of the Go-Gos’ “Our Lips Are Sealed” and the Who’s “My Generation”

The Jonas Brothers’ version of a-ha's “Take on Me”

Fall Out Boy's version of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”

Faith Hill’s version of Erma Franklin’s “Piece of My Heart” (also covered by Janis Joplin)

Anyone on American Idol's cover of Phil Collins’ “Against All Odds”

Two of their choices that I completely disagree with:

No Doubt's version of Talk Talk’s “It’s My Life”

Whitney Houston's version of Dolly Parton’s “I Will Always Love You”

And the rest of those worst offenders:

Michael Bolton’s version of Percy Sledge’s “When a Man Loves a Woman”

Mariah Carey's version of Def Leppard's “Bringin’ on the Heartbreak”

Celine Dion's versions of Roy Orbison’s “I Drove All Night” (also covered by Cyndi Lauper) and Heart’s “Alone”

Madonna's version of Don McLean’s ''American Pie''

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Who would you put on the list? “American Pie” is there, but I would add Alien Ant Farm’s version of Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.” And I still can’t stand Everlast’s version of Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.”

And who has covered a song as well as, or better than, the original? As I typed that, two songs immediately came to mind: Aerosmith’s version of the Beatles’ “ Come Together” and Jimi Hendrix’s version of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower.”

Think I’ll give that some thought…

Asked & Answered

It’s time to check my inbox and answer the questions some readers have emailed…

Asked: You aren't from Childress, are you?  Where did you live before moving to Oklahoma?   -Sue

Answered: I lived in Childress when I was little, and we moved to Amarillo when I was in the third grade. Growing up, I spent every spring break and a lot of every summer in Childress. I also worked at the Index the first two summers after I graduated high school.

My husband and I were living in Amarillo before we moved.

Asked: If you don't like Oklahoma, why do you live there?   -D.S.

Answered: It’s not that I don’t like it here. I do. Mostly. I just can’t get past the fact that I don’t live in Texas. Some call it denial, but I call it… Well, I don’t call it anything. It’s too sad.

 

Asked: Do tornadoes scare you?   -K.L.

Answered: Yes, but on the plus side, the storm tracking technology here is state of the art, and this is where meteorologists from all over the country come to learn. That’s big comfort when the warning sirens start to blow.

Asked: Are you an OU fan?   -L.J.

Answered: Nope.

Asked: What do you think about the OKC NBA team? -Smith

Answered: What a great opportunity! The New Orleans Hornets’ temporary relocation to OKC after Hurricane Katrina was a boon to the economy and a fantastic (no pun intended) entertainment avenue. The games were a blast, the team was very well supported, and the fans in the Ford Center were the loudest in the NBA. 

Though local team name suggestions included the “Oklahoma Boomers” and “Oklahoma Sooners of the NBA” (I kid you not), and the NBA has filed trademark rights for the Barons, Bisons, Energy, Marshalls and Wind, it looks as though the team name will be the Oklahoma City Thunder. In fact, for a very brief time last week, nba.com had “Oklahoma City Thunder” posted on it’s website.

I’m not crazy about the name; it’s a sound, after all, but it is what it is. I’ll still go to games as often as I can. In fact, I can hardly wait to take my nephews!

Asked: Gob Bluth ROCKS!   -Joe

Answered: Well, Joe, I appreciate that you are an Arrested Development fan. It’s one of my all-time favorite TV shows. (And I know that’s not a question, but I can’t let an AD comment go unacknowledged, can I?)

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Keep those emails coming, and we’ll open the inbox again soon!

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How unfortunate is it that China’s shiny Olympic façade is cracking? Some of the impressive opening ceremony fireworks turned out to be computerized images. A sweet voiced 7-year-old was deemed not pretty enough, and fifteen minutes before the opening ceremony she was yanked and replaced by a seemingly cuter girl, who lip-synched the song. An American was stabbed to death. And one of the Chinese women’s gymnastics team, all of whom were verified via their passports to be 16 or older, lost a baby tooth between the time the Games began and the team finals. Huh. Age verified by passport when the Chinese are the only ones who don’t need passports to travel to the Olympics. Go figure.

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Wasn’t it sweet that the french (yes, lower case F, the jerks) didn’t “smash the US” in the men’s 4x100 meters freestyle swimming relay? And yes, I know that french trash talker Alain Bernard won a gold medal Wednesday, but still, though he sure talked the talk, he didn’t walk the complete walk.

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Have you been paying attention to US men’s gymnastic alternate-turned-medalist Jonathan Horton? We hear a lot about him here, because he’s an OU student. He’s also a Texan.

Don’t you just love Texas boys?

Did they forget about… ?

So I get in the car Wednesday morning, baby strapped into her car seat and Diet Coke in the cup holder, and I tune the radio from satellite radio to OKC’s 96.9 Bob FM, where Ron-the-radio-god mixes it up with two other personalities. They are discussing the top ten worst songs as according to Spinner.com and AOL Radio. The actual list is 111 songs, but there’s no listing: the whole thing is for a new AOL Radio station, which is counting down the entire list. But I have a life (and ears!) and cannot listen to/tolerate the whole ordeal.

Their top 20 songs (and for the record, this list is much a re-numbering of Blender.com’s worst songs list) are:

20. “The Final Countdown” –Europe

19. “What’s Up” –4 Non Blondes

18. Getting’ Jiggy Wit It” –Will Smith

17. “Achy Breaky Heart” –Billy Ray Cyrus

16. “Thong Song” –Sisqo

15. “Hollaback Girl” –Gwen Stefani

14. “Rico Suave” –Gerardo

13. “Convoy” –C.W.McCall

12. “With Arms Open Wide” –Creed

11. “Wannabe” –Spice Girls

10. “My Heart Will Go On: -Celine Dion

9. “Macarena” –Los Del Rio

8. “Ebony and Ivory” –Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder

7. “I’m Too Sexy” –Right Said Fred

6. “I Am Woman” –Helen Reddy

5. “U Can’t Touch This” –MC Hammer

4. “Barbie Girl” –Aqua

3. “She Bangs” –Ricky Martin

2. “Ice, Ice Baby” –Vanilla Ice

1. “Who Let the Dogs Out” –Baha Men

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Really? Number one isn’t Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” or “Muskrat Love” by The Captain and Tennille? Where is “Disco Duck” by Rick Dees? “MmmBop” by Hanson? “Kokomo” by The Beach Boys? Where is “Rapture” by Blondie, Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” and “Into the Night” by Santana? (Points for Chad Kroger’s vocals, but not even he couldn’t save that song.)

There’s only one Celine Dion song on the list? I would add all of her other songs plus all of the songs by Michael Bolton, Mariah Carey and Elvis Costello. Did they forget about what is arguably the worst cover song ever: “American Pie” by Madonna? And don’t get me started on Everlast’s “Folsom Prison Blues.” That heinous electronic neigh (is that what it is?) effect makes my ears bleed!

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Don’t get me wrong: I really can’t argue with most of the songs on the list; I just think some of the ones I listed are equally bad or worse than their worst. My one exception is number 15. I like Gwen Stefani, and though this is not her best song, it’s not her worst, either.

And number 20? Anytime I hear that song I automatically think of Gob Bluth and his magic act!

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Have you seen Paris Hilton’s new (key word) viral video? Cute idea, and she’s kind of adorable in it, in a vapid, I-have-way-more-money-than-sense way.

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These words are on the sign outside of my church this week: “Happiness is an inside job.”

I couldn’t agree more.